Bitter and Sweet

December arrived and with it questions. 

“Did we move today?” 

“Are we in our new house?”

Why are my kids asking this? Why are they talking about moving today? It seemed completely nonsensical. We plan to move out to the farm in a few years. But we aren’t moving soon. 

Then it dawned on me. We moved one year ago. They recognized the significance of December – the anniversary of our big move. They were asking if this was the day it happened last year. 

And so we walked down memory lane together. 

Do you remember Big’s Christmas band concert in Kansas City?

Do you remember sending our swing set and patio furniture to Nebraska in Granny and Papa’s stock trailer?

Friends loaded our moving truck a year ago tomorrow.

I struggle to stop and remember. Remembrance brings emotions and that overwhelms me. I find it easier to power through the day-to-day, to look towards the future, rather than to pause and recognize the swirling feelings that come with remembering. But I need to remember. I must remember both the joy and the sorrow. 

Remembering is good. Our souls need to pause and reflect. As we recall the joys, we celebrate.. As the sorrows surface, we grieve. Through it all, we see the goodness and faithfulness of God in our lives. 

We live in the here and the not yet. Our world, once a perfect creation, is broken by sin. There is beauty and joy. There is ugliness and pain. Sweet and bitter.

Perhaps, that is why I love the Advent season. I need the reminder to stop and reflect. During Advent we do just that. We remember. 

We remember the brokenness of the world. Consequences of wrong choices. Broken relationships. Disease. Hardship. Death. 

We remember God promised a Messiah, a rescuer, who would make all things new. Where was he? God’s people waited and waited. 

We remember the silence. 

We remember the people’s hope that the word of the Lord would come to pass. He had shown himself faithful and true in the past. He would again. The Messiah would come. 

And then…

A light came into the world and the darkness fled. He is here! The Messiah is born! The heavens burst forth singing. Joy!

This December we look back and savor all that God has done and our hearts quicken as we eagerly await the return of the Prince of Peace. Though we live amidst brokenness, salvation has come. Our future is secure. 

In a small way my family tasted the brokenness, the loss of home, the pain of goodbyes and the uncomfortableness of change. So we remember. There is bitterness and there is sweetness. God’s hand faithfully walked us through this season. We established a new home. We met new friends. We experienced new adventures. And two adorable kittens joined our family. The Lord sprinkled these good gifts throughout this past year. 

Bitter and sweet. 

Sorrow and joy.

We look with hope to the future. 

“In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” – John 1:4-5

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” – Hebrews 6:19

Merry Christmas!